On and off relationship for 10 years

on and off relationship for 10 years

I've had a long and difficult (10 years) relationship with my girlfriend, and we've broken up twice before, under drastic circumstances each time. Loving someone isn't always easy — anyone who's been in on-again, off-again relationship can agree. Sometimes it's so tiring, but your desire to make things. This is called “relationship cycling,” and it turns out it's an even bigger emotional energy Why You Should End That On-Again, Off-Again Relationship 12/06/ 18 AM The Best Dating App I Tried This Year.

You're willing to stand up for each other.

on and off relationship for 10 years

When you take someone back who's hurt you before, you're going to have a lot of explaining to do. Your friends and family care about you -- they only want to protect you.

8 Great Things About On-Again/Off-Again Relationships

But when they're questioning you, it can get rough and feel like you're being attacked. Trying again shows you're willing to defend your significant other and align yourself most closely with them. You've seen your relationship be derailed by practicalities before, so you don't underestimate the power of them.

You know how important it is to be on the same page and to make decisions together. Love can't fix everything -- you have to commit to working together. You didn't destroy your chance at a relationship when the circumstances weren't right.

on and off relationship for 10 years

Sometimes it's going to be really hard to make a relationship work. If you're in totally different places, either physically or in what you want out of life, the relationship is going to be fraught with hardship.

8 Great Things About On-Again/Off-Again Relationships | HuffPost

Maybe if we tried forcing it too early on, we could have ended never wanting to speak again. Instead, when the stars aligned, we still loved each other. You know how to have tough conversations. Not all relationships carry heartbreak from the same relationship with it. A lot of people would think that's a heavy burden for a relationship, but I think it makes you better prepared to have hard conversations.

Your heart has been hurt before, thus you're not willing to ignore your worries or brush difficult decisions under the rug. When you commit, you're really committed. You both know you can't mess around with each other's lives or feelings because there's already been so much history. When you get back together, for real this time, you mean it. And though one or both of you may be wary for a little bit, you both understand how important commitment is, so you act to diminish doubts and increase security every day.

It is very unhealthy for me because it makes me feel worthless. That does not help my self-esteem though.

on and off relationship for 10 years

When I am not with him, I tend to get very depressed and you might say suicidal. She does not represent herself to be a psychologist, therapist, counselor or professional helper of any sort.

on and off relationship for 10 years

Her responses are offered from the perspective of a friend or mentor only. Anne intends her responses to provide general information to the readership of this website; answers should not be understood to be specific advice intended for any particular individual s. Questions submitted to this column are not guaranteed to receive responses. No correspondence takes place.

Always consult with your psychotherapist, physician, or psychiatrist first before changing any aspect of your treatment regimen. Do not stop your medication or change the dose of your medication without first consulting with your physician.

The mental picture I have based upon your letter is of a woman who is currently fairly dependent in orientation. By this I mean that your sense of self is not based upon how you judge your own actions, but rather on what other people particular people to be sure think of you.

This is clear enough in how you regard yourself in terms of how other people view you e. The problem with this way of being is, however, that when you are dependent on how other people regard you for feelings of self-worth, your mood goes up and down like a yo yo every time someone looks at you funny.

When your own moods are linked so strongly to how other people are regarding you, you are essentially at their mercy and not captain of your own ship.

Ask a Guy: On and Off Relationship – Is it Meant to Be?

Psychodynamic psychotherapists call it Anaclitic Depressionand distinguish it from other motivations for being depressed. The major problem here with this numbing strategy for coping is that sleeping pills can kill you. That may be the point, I understand, but I also hear that you are ambivalent about killing yourself.

Lucky for you, depression is a treatable condition. It would be a shame if you killed yourself accidentally before you were able to experience this fact first hand. You are playing with fire when you take sleeping pills, I think.