7 Signs You May Be Counter-Dependent
Every codependent relationship has two parts. Needing to please, be accepted , validated, and defined by their significant other, Counter-dependency is the term given to the other person in the relationship who uses the. Today co-dependency is defined by Wikipedia as “having a tendency to behave who happens to be in a close relationship with a counter-dependent person. The primary defining feature of a healthy autonomy is first that the autonomy fear intimacy and do not trust others, they do not form lasting deep relationships. Indeed, even in marriage, a counter dependent will hide core aspects of their.
In place of doubt, have faith. Again, your response is always more powerful than your circumstance. A tiny part of your life is decided by completely uncontrollable circumstances, while the vast majority of your life is decided by your responses.
This concept might seem obvious, but when hard times hit we tend to yearn for instant gratification. We want things to get better, and we want it better now!
7 Signs You May Be Counter-Dependent
And this yearning often tricks us into biting off more than we can chew. Let this be your reminder. Small, repeated, incremental efforts will get you there. Effort is never wasted, even when it leads to disappointing results. For it always makes you stronger, more educated, and more experienced.
Counterdependency - Wikipedia
Just because you are struggling does not mean you are failing. Every great success requires some kind of struggle to get there.
These needs can be external and internal, though the internal will likely be undefined. Counter-Dependency and Love Avoidance Counter-dependency is the term given to the other person in the relationship who uses the caregiving of the codependent to their advantage.
They are otherwise non receiving of love out of a deep need to avoid it. At the core of counter-dependency is an inability to trust or be intimate with others. Unrelenting in their independence, counter-dependents base their lives on the fact that they are fully self-supporting in all ways. Instead of displaying true autonomy this actually shows a great fear. Due to traumas of the past and patterns of insecure attachments, the counter-dependent has a fear of what consequences could be faced by trusting and loving others.
When the opportunity presents itself to create deep connection, meaning, and emotion with someone else, the counter-dependent will participate in what is called love-avoidance. Defiant and avoidant, the counter-dependent will find means of staying away from intimate situations or relationships. James grew up the youngest of seven children.
He was a surprise, born nine years after his next youngest sibling. When James was born, his mother was 47 and his father But by the time James was born, they were tired of raising children, so James essentially raised himself. James had complete freedom to do anything he wished after school because his parents seldom asked him where he was. Even though James enjoyed this extensive freedom from rules and structure, he grew up feeling deep within himself that he was alone.
- The Opposite of CoDependency: Counter-dependency and Love Avoidance
It became a part of his identity. When I first met James, he seemed somewhat emotionless and self-contained. His wife, after 15 years of marriage, was at the end of her rope. She felt that James was incapable of connecting with her emotionally. He told her he loved her often, but seldom showed her any emotion, positive or negative. She pointed out that he was a wonderful provider, but described their relationship as empty and meaningless.