How to be an individual in a relationship

How to Keep Your Individuality While In A Relationship - Wonder Forest

how to be an individual in a relationship

Being in a relationship is awesome, but sometimes, it can feel like you're lost to miss each other and do whatever it is we want as individuals. Video on saying independent and maintaining a strong relationship. freethinking individual — I couldn't help but inquire about how she manages being a wife. Being in a relationship doesn't mean you have to be co-dependent. to establish a sense of self is vital to helping you grow as an individual.

But then, I took a break from serial monogamy and contemplated who I, Cynthia, was, and I realized I was worth saving. On my ownI watched French romantic comedies, filled pages with doodles and squiggly lines, ran along the water, went hiking, did yoga every morning and meditated afterward.

how to be an individual in a relationship

I wrote morning pages, I went out with my friends, I danced around my apartment, I cried a lot and I laughed.

My biggest worry when I met my current boyfriend — and still, after two years — is falling back into my old pattern of co-dependency. I do this to detach from the details and pan out.

How to Stay Independent While in a Relationship

I pan out so I can see where I fit in the stories I live. But what about in a relationship?

how to be an individual in a relationship

Is it any different? There are three characters that make up a relationship: Think about this for a minute. There is no relationship without you or your partner. For a relationship to work, it needs to be maintained by both individuals. Both parties must tend to it and nurture it. And to be able to tend to it, both partners need to be healthy to do so.

What I want to emphasize here is that the relationship is what both people have in common, which means both people are responsible for it. What each partner is not responsible for is the other. It means we learn to love, care, and be involved without going crazy. What are you supposed to do?

how to be an individual in a relationship

Healthy commitment or unhealthy attachment? For Kate, this realization came the hard way. What are the signs of an unhealthy attachment?

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  • How to Keep Your Individuality While In A Relationship

Ramani Durvasulaa licensed clinical psychologist who goes by Dr. Ramanisays that they occur when we start regulating our needs through the other person in our relationship. Your unusual quirks and the weird things that made you tick sparked something in his or her heart. Completely changing ourselves and who we are to be more like our partners can end up ruining our relationships, because the parts of us that they liked are no longer there.

Maintaining Your Identity in a Relationship - Everyday Feminism

First, you have to be ready and willing to do so. Sumber offers a very simple way to determine this. Do I still enjoy spending time by myself? Find a time when you and your partner are relaxed and able to listen, and explain to him or her as clearly as possible that you feel you might be losing yourself because of the relationship. Therefore, equal efforts between attending to oneself and making the relationship work are necessary.

Relationship Success: Balancing Togetherness and Individuality | HuffPost Life

Contributors control their own work and posted freely to our site. If you need to flag this entry as abusive, send us an email. A client of mine -- during our initial consultation -- said the following: When I'm in a relationship, I invest so much of myself into maintaining romance and intimacy that I forget who I am as an individual.

How can I balance my personal identity with my identity as a couple? Does this sound familiar? The psychoanalyst Erich Fromm, in one of his writings, points to the paradox of love, something we all struggle with: In order to understand how we retain our individual identity while building our partnership, taking a trip down memory lane to recall our early childhood bonds is the first place to start, as it was then that our sense of identity and our ability to form healthy connections with others were formed.

Through our mother's unconditional support of our growing independence, we develop the ability to see her as both our caretaker upon whom we depend as well as a separate person with whom we can empathize.

However, independent development in childhood may be hindered or less than ideal, causing dependency issues later in romantic relationships. Instead of having a strong sense of Self, one might turn to their partner to strengthen their identity. Consider the following examples of how people compromise themselves in their partnership.

how to be an individual in a relationship

Instead of looking to oneself, one looks to their partner to figure out what they need or want.